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There are some decisions we just have to make on our own.  

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When you’re stuck between choices, especially when there’s no ‘good’ or ‘right’ decision, the ambivalence freezes you.  That’s where specialized counseling like solo decision making makes the most difference.

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What is Solo Decision Making?

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Ever faced a big life decision and got stuck?  Maybe your partner or best friend tried to help but ultimately, it came down to you.  Using the principles of Discernment Counseling, we’ll start by structuring out your choices framing the core decision.  Precise counseling techniques highlight the pathway to new insights and perspectives, giving you the puzzles pieces you need.  Through the short-term process of 1-5 sessions, you’ll gain clarity and confidence over the big decision you need to make. While some decisions are never easy, Decision Counseling gives you the tools for discovering the path forward.

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What makes it a Solo Decision?

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There are times when no one else can make the decision but you.  Sometimes we can’t get the answers we want or need from others and we must do it on our own.  When your partner can’t or won’t engage in couples counseling or the counseling seems to go in circles, headway is impossible.  When you’re not making progress together, you can forge ahead on your own.

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What kind of decisions are made Solo?

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Deciding to give it another go, divorce, or work on reconciliation in the marriage is never easy.  Ideally both you and your partner would have input into this big decision but sometimes, that’s not possible.

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After an Affair: Most marriages don’t end after an affair but that doesn’t mean there’s been healing.  The decision to stay and work or leave is not easy.

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A vital decision after an affair is brought to light is whether to continue a relationship with the affair partner or end it and return to your marriage.

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When you’re married to someone whose alcohol or drug use is out of control. The wreckage on your marriage and children is devastating. Addiction can take the form of gambling, eating disorders, and sex or porn.  The person you married is somewhere underneath. How long do you wait? How can you truly help?

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When is it appropriate to make a Solo Decision?

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You know it’s better to include your partner in these things but they are absent these days.  They might not make the healthiest choice anyway. To start, we’ll map out your individual options.  Is there something you can change or have you tried everything? What is there to gain or lose with each decision?  When you can’t get someone to give you input, you can decide on your own.

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If you’re at the end of your rope, Discernment Counseling can help.  Read more about the Leaning In and the Leaning Out partner to see if this specialized counseling is right for you and your marriage.  Contact me with questions and schedule a complimentary consultation appointment.  Relief is around the corner.

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Can my partner join after we start?

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Absolutely.  Often, when you start working on your own, your partner will notices changes.  Intrigued by your steps forward, your partner may be curious about this new way to make decisions.  Moving deliberately forward, we’d convert the solo process to discernment counseling for two.

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What are the first steps?

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The first step is to make an appointment for your free phone consultation.  We’ll talk through your options and see if solo decision counseling is the right path.  From there, we’ll make the initial appointment to meet in-person. My office is on the North Shore of Chicago in downtown Wilmette.  If you’d prefer, we can meet there or the location of your choice. All we need is a private space to talk.

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Read or listen to the audiobooks from 6 Must Have Books for Couples on the Brink of Divorce.  

Try one session of Discernment Counseling and see what changes.  

Check out the services page to see if weekly sessions or an intensive workshop is right for you and your relationship.  

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Hear more from the founder of

Discernment Counseling, Dr. Bill Doherty

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Dr. Laura L. Walsh is trained in the Discernment Counseling method of decision making.  She’ll help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.

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Big decisions are hard.

You’ve come to a crossroads and it’s time to make some decisions. To confidently move forward, you need clarity to take the next steps. Assisted by a licensed clinical psychologist, this short-term, specialized process of 1- 5 sessions gives you the wisdom and insight you’ve needed to break free of ambivalence.

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